Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Glutton For Punishment

Working ten to fifteen consecutive shifts consistently just wasn't challenging enough (no, really). So for even more greenbacks, I'm picking up a contract at a county teaching hospital/trauma center. In July. Just after the fresh residents have hit the floor. The phone interview, where they told me they love registry and travelers because they use so many, and that there are always plenty of overtime shifts to pick up, tells me that they're either stupid, or don't realize what that means to me is that most of their staff is new/short-term/swamped, so I'll pretty much be on my own once they take off my training wheels. Otherwise they wouldn't be glad to get people, and paying top dollar to make it happen.

Except unlike the last time I did this, this time with fluent Spanish and nearly 15 years of ED experience. (Note: never start a new ED job on 9/11/01, or amidst any other world-changing terrorist attack, if you can help it. Just saying.) This should keep me ahead of the residents. But I'll probably renew the contract a time or two if things work out. Because seriously, every time I start a new one, the 16-hour marathon of compliance modules on the computer, either there or here at home, is a total buzzkill.  If there were an option that would let me skip the modules and substitute just being punched in the junk for half an hour while being tazed, I'd really have to think about which way to lean.

Which will be inevitably followed by more hours of orientation, that mostly just provides rent for the people in HR who lead orientation. But somewhere I have a book on Korean War POWs resisting brainwashing sessions, so I'll be brushing up on those tips beforehand, and working on keeping a slightly bemused look on my face, just to be ready for the first day of school before I hit the department.

Life should always be an adventure.


  1. Make yourself a bingo card. Moving forward. Stakeholders. Reaching out. Touching base. Best practice. Low-hanging fruit. Evidence based practice. Getting onboard. Press-Gainey. Superfluous suffixes to sound important: functionality for function. Bonus: Manager with rictus grin and a squint like Joe Girardi. You get the idea. But totally don't get caught. Trust me on that.

  2. I'm being completely sincere when I ask this - how the hell do you not get burnt out doing this?! I'm at the 8 year mark of ER time, and feel like I'm just treading water and hating every second of work from burnout. I can't even imaging doing that much extra time. Hopefully I straighten my shit out, because I'm tired of myself being a bummer...

  3. Funny you should ask...

    1. I've been off blogger for a couple weeks - just got back and saw this post! Thanks for replying, seriously. I've had three weeks off thus far with one more to go, and starting my new assignment mid August. Your words shall be heeded!