Way too many shots of booze downtown on Saturday night: $167
Facial adjustment by Rocco and his 3 friends after lipping off: FREE
Ambulance ride to the E.D.: $500
E.D. CT scan and lac repairs: $4000
Admission to the ICU for subdural hematoma: $12,000
Price for signing out of ICU AMA, going home, and waking up dead: LIFELESS
Scientific proof #3,467,882 that brain impulses cannot swim upstream against the current of alcohol.
Oh, and your Darwin Award nomination is in the mail.
I can tell people the truth, but no matter how hard I try, I can't make them smarter...