Monday, December 1, 2014

Lies, Damned Lies, Statistics...and Pure Ebola Bull$#!^

(AP)Liberia and Guinea have met a Dec. 1 target for isolating 70 percent of people infected with Ebola and safely burying 70 percent of those who die, the World Health Organization said Monday.
Only last week, the U.N. health agency had said only Guinea was on track to meet the targets for getting the deadly Ebola outbreak under control in the three hardest-hit West African countries.
But at a news conference in Geneva, WHO's Dr. Bruce Aylward said the organization had revised its conclusion based on more analysis of its data. Sierra Leone also probably met the targets in the west of the country, he said, and likely will improve to the 70 percent target nationwide "in the coming weeks."
Aylward also told reporters that WHO's ambitious plan to stop the deadly Ebola outbreak in West Africa has shown it possible to quickly reduce the "yawning gap" between disease levels and the capacity to respond.
"You can catch up with Ebola even on this scale," he said.
However, he added that it "doesn't mean you're automatically going to get to zero" cases and eliminate unsafe burials without more cooperation among organizations, communities, citizens and country leaders.
It is also important for people who have changed their behavior to reduce the disease risks to avoid becoming complacent, he said.
WHO launched its Ebola plan two months ago to isolate 70 percent of the sick and safely bury 70 percent of the victims in Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone by December 1.
But the U.N. and others have predicted that Ebola will continue to sicken people in West Africa and possibly elsewhere until sometime next year.

Sure they did. Except for the part about only having 20% of the infected in treatment beds.

Or maybe WHO, and the AP, think that overcome by some tryptophan rush since Turkey Day, we forgot all about this little gem issued only last week, as folks rushed home to stock up on stuffing and cranberry sauce, and start marinating the bird:
 In its release of the latest figures on Wednesday, the World Health Organization said both Sierra Leone and Liberia appeared to be far behind the U.N.-set goal of isolating 70 percent of patients by Dec. 1, with only about 20 percent isolated in each country.
Seriously, Assclowns, do you really figure we all have the attention span of methed-out gnats?? A 50% increase in only the last four days?!? Mirabile dictu, and magically and purely coincidentally, just in time for the Dec. 1st deadline??!!??

Apparently, the only doctors still practicing in Liberia are SPIN DOCTORS.
This is worse than watching a naked guy trying to pull rabbits out of a hat.
This is watching a retarded naked guy trying to pull rabbits out of a hat.

We see the bunny, you jackasses.
Don't quit your day jobs.

Related news:
Those 1000 Liberian deaths they "forgot" to include in their Ebola totals until last week?
Apparently, Liberia realized that Something Else must have actually killed them, but they're absolutely POSITIVE it couldn't have been the Ebola, nosiree Bob, not a chance, honest, we swear.
Dec 1 (Reuters) - A surge in Ebola deaths reported by the World Health Organization at the weekend was due to about 1,000 Liberian deaths wrongly ascribed to the disease that would be removed, WHO assistant director general Bruce Aylward said on Monday."Liberia's figures came in but they've since said these were actually non-Ebola deaths that were reported as part of our Ebola deaths and we will be taking them off. So the whole world went up and the whole world will come down again," he told reporters.
Data published at the weekend put Liberia's death toll at 4,181, up from 3,016 two days earlier.
Call Ripley's.
Apparently this here's the first reported casualties of the Giant Liberian People Eater.
And the Liberian government officials who sacked other Liberian government officials for misreporting Ebola deaths, have just been sacked by NEW Liberian government officials.
So you can believe these figures. Would Liberia lie to you?
This is comedy gold, and it writes itself, I swear.



  1. Given the almost exact 30 day spacing between the 1000 case dump and the 1000 corpse dump, I figured someone was only reporting monthly, rather than daily.

  2. Why is the WHO so keen to sacrifice their own credibility like this? Who benefits from pressuring Liberia and the others to falsely under-report the toll Ebola is taking? All they're going to accomplish-- even if they succeed-- is to convince people that Ebola is "old news" and "not a big deal", and in that environment, first-world countries will find it hard to drum up the political will to commit more resources to helping West Africa due to the lack of perceived need. In fact, I expect soon we will see some nations start to back away from commitments they have already made since Brucey-boy basically says Ebola is under control now. I would think that result would be the opposite of what WHO would want...? What am I missing? What's their angle?

    During the mid-term elections I could see trying to make things look not-so-bad in West Africa, in the hopes that a Democratic U.S. Congress might be more inclined to loosed the foreign-aid purse-strings a bit, but I am not seeing what the point is of continuing with that plan now. Downplaying Ebola seems like a self-defeating strategy with no obvious upside.

  3. Their angle is trying to buff the myth of their own competence.

    If not for the mounds of corpses, it would probably work.
    The apparent current plan is to continue to hyperventilate about the crisis, but only becase of "new discoveries", "unfortunate twists", and "hitherto unknown complications", rather than a frank admission that they're in over their heads, and have no idea what to do, and have been hopelessly outmaneuvered by this virus since about last April.