Thursday, March 7, 2013

Back Pain

This is one of those times where, if I hadn’t seen this with my own eyes, I’d have trouble believing it.
While I’m in the room with a patient, checking vitals or somesuch, one of our financial minions comes in to get the patient’s financial info, and take care of any copays, etc.

Queen Latifah puts down her iPhone, reaches her $200 custom nails into her Coach purse, and  hands Minion her government issue Medigimme card.
While I’m cycling a blood pressure on her on the machine, Minion returns.

“This card is no good.”
Mind you, it’s a state-issued medical benefit card, ridiculously easy to get, with no expiration date.

Queen Latifah doesn’t miss a beat, pulls out another card, and says “Try this one.”
Before the BP has finished, Minion returns again.

“This one’s no good either.”
This time, with my own eyes, I watch in amazement as Queen Latifah pulls out a stack of Medigimme cards, fans them open like a Vegas dealer, pulls one of at least a baker’s dozen out of the fan, and says, “Try this one.”

Minion returns after about 3 minutes, just as I’m moving along, and says, “Here’s your card. Thanks.”
As we're leaving the room, I ask Minion if the cards were all the same for the patient.

“Oh no,” she says. “All different names.”
Well, color me surprised.
Here I am busting my @$$ nightly to take care of the poor indigent downtrodden masses, and they’re busy working the system like a broken slot machine with both hands and a crowbar. No wonder my feet and back hurt. I’m carrying this lady and her 15 alternate identities around for a piggyback ride every day I’m working.

And so are you.
Tell me again how there’s no health care for the poor.