Enter sorority version of Calista Flockhart, same 89 pounds, but in this case all of 19 years old, and nearly catatonically unresponsive from the probably two whole beers she drank earlier that night at Horrendously Expensive Drinking Academy: "We put the HIGH in Higher Learning!"
She's dressed, has no ID, no hovering friendlettes, and not much else to go on, and regretably the paramedics were forced to use the Dreaded Sternal Rub in triaging her responsiveness.
Which also failed to get any response.
So, out of ideas as we wait for an open room, I lean down and tell her, rather loudly and near her ear, that she needs to wake up and talk to us.
Her left hand slowly rises from the blanket, she presses an extended index finger to her lips, and without opening her eyes or any other response, she gives me an earnest "Ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Scratch out that U, and insert a V on the AVPU score.
BAC Score: 124 mg/dL - Amateur Lightweight class
Rx: 4 hours of monitored naptime, ride home with friend